What Happiness Looks Like (Promises) Page 8

  KATE

  After she scooped the cashew chicken onto everyone’s plates, Kate waited for Mitch to make his appearance. Without speaking, Joely took her usual seat, the one across from where Anna would be.

  Anna ran down the stairs and into the kitchen, sliding in her socks across the cherry floor. “Uncle Mitch said he’s not hungry.” Her gaze landed on the brown sauce mixture mounded on her plate. “Are those peas?”

  Heaving a sigh, Kate wiped her hands on a towel. “You guys go ahead and start eating without us.” She headed up to their bedroom, furious. She’d spent the time cooking dinner and he had his feelings hurt because she’d laid into him about Jake? Well, she knew she was completely right.

  She marched into their room and closed the door so Joely and Anna wouldn’t hear. She spotted Mitch primping in the dresser mirror. Jutting her hip to the side, she placed her hand on it. “Why aren’t you eating dinner with us? You’ve been working late all week and now it’s the weekend and you’re still being anti-social.”

  “I don’t want to be around you when you’re being so stubborn.”

  “I’m being stubborn?” She walked up beside him. “When I’m passionate about something, I’m being stubborn. When you feel strongly about something, you’re being practical.”

  He glared at her through the mirror. “I don’t want to fight.”

  No, they weren’t good at fighting. They both preferred to avoid conflict. But lately, no one backed down, no one yielded. Instead, Mitch just disappeared.

  She watched him spray Polo cologne near his shirt collar. He usually put on cologne in the morning before work, but didn’t re-apply it at night unless he and Kate had plans. Her face heated with anger. “Where are you going?”

  Looking flustered, he put down the green bottle. “Out.”

  She wanted to grab his sleeve, force him to face her. Instead she squeezed the bridge of her nose. “What is going on with you?”

  “You act like you’re the queen of this castle, so the king is going someplace where his opinion isn’t constantly trampled on.”

  Confused, she squinted at him. “I don’t trample your opinion. It’s just that I know Jake and you don’t.”

  His jaw tensed. “This is bigger than Jake.” He turned around and brushed by her. “Don’t wait up for me. I’m moving into the guest bedroom permanently.”

  Her heart thumped against her ribs. This was all happening so fast. Seconds later, she watched through their bedroom window as her husband drove away. She slid down onto her knees and clutched at her chest. God, it hurt.

  He’d done this before—disappeared when the going got tough. He’d eventually come around to see things her way. She’d been right then and surely he’d see that she was right now.

  She kneeled for a long time. The pounding in her heart had migrated to her head. Eventually she heard a soft tap at the door.

  Swallowing, she tried to compose herself. “Go away.” She sat down and leaned her back against the wall.

  “Aunt Kate?” Anna’s high-pitched voice asked. The willowy blond peered through a crack in the door. She was going to be tall like her mother. “Are you alright?”

  “Yes.” Kate waved her hand to shoo her niece away.

  “But you didn’t eat.”

  Speaking without crying took so much effort. “I’m not hungry.” Her voice quivered in the middle.

  She heard Anna’s footsteps patter down the stairs. She stared at the creamy walls. So plain. Why hadn’t she ever painted this room?

  Hearing voices, she strained to make out the conversation, but couldn’t. A moment later came another knock on her door.

  The door opened and Joely stuck her head in. “Are you sick?”

  Shaking her head, Kate avoided eye contact. She pulled her knees to her chest and stared at the caramel-colored carpet.

  Joely walked inside the room, closing the door behind her. “Anna said you’re not feeling well.” She started to come near, but stopped.

  Kate suspected she was only being nice because she thought Kate was ill. Joely had to still be mad about her throwing Jake out. Even Mitch was pissed, although she didn’t understand why.

  Not wanting to get up and search for a tissue, Kate rubbed her runny nose. She sniffled. “I’m not sick.”

  Joely shifted her weight. “Are you and Mitch in a fight? He didn’t even say goodbye before he took off.”

  Kate ran her finger through the carpet fibers making squiggles. “I kind of lost it when I found out Mitch was the reason Jake had tracked you down. But Mitch said that’s not why . . . .” She took a few longer breaths, trying to resist hysterics.

  Keeping her distance, Joely scratched near the mole on her neck. “As your sister, I feel it’s my duty to tell you you’ve been kind of a bitch lately.”

  Kate flinched at the word. Joely rarely uttered obscenities when Anna was in the house. Kate took a deep breath, ready to defend herself. “If I am, I have every right to be. My life is spinning out of control. Mitch has given up on having a baby with me. And just now he wouldn’t tell me where he’s going and said he wants to sleep in the guest bedroom. Do you think. . .” She squeezed her temples. It was too crazy. But he sprayed on Polo, the scent that made her knees go weak. “Do you think Mitch might be seeing someone?”

  “Another woman?” Joely shook her head. “No way. Mitch loves you.”

  “But having a baby is all we talk about anymore. We don’t laugh, we don’t do anything fun and the romance fizzled as soon as we started the fertility treatments.”

  Finally Joely kneeled beside her—ready to offer the comfort she so desperately needed. “You’ve been married a while. That’s all. Romance ebbs and flows. It will come back.”

  “So where is he? He says he’s working late all the time and twice now he’s taken off without any explanation.”

  Joely lowered her eyebrows. “Really? What else is he doing that’s different?”

  “I don’t know. It’s a gut feeling that something’s off. It’s like he’s checking out emotionally.”

  “Have you read any suspicious text messages?”

  “No.” Kate had never spied on him. She craned her neck to scan Mitch’s dresser. Unfortunately, she couldn’t start now because he’d taken his cell phone with him.

  “Come with me.” Joely pulled her up and they went into the spare bedroom. Joely sat at the computer desk and opened up e-mail. “What’s his password?”

  Kate said it was the day she and Mitch had first met: September fifth.

  An incorrect password message came on the screen. Joely turned around to look at her. “Are you sure that’s his password?”

  Kate nodded. “Yes. It’s the same password for everything. Try again.”

  Joely typed it again, but it still didn’t work. “He probably abbreviated September or included the year or something.” She tried a few variations on the date to no avail. Her eyes remained on the screen, her fingers hovering over the keyboard. “I know. Let’s check out his Facebook page.”

  “Why?” Joely liked keeping in touch with her friends in Michigan with Facebook, whereas Kate hadn’t bothered to stay active with it. She used to post vacation pictures or talk about cute things Anna said. But now all she could think to write was “I’m still not pregnant.” She jammed her hands in her pockets. “You think he changed his status from married to single?” She chuckled half-heartedly.

  Joely kept typing. “No. I’m sure there’s nothing there. That way you can stop worrying.” She logged onto her Facebook page and clicked onto Mitch’s profile.

  Within seconds, Kate could see the random thoughts that Mitch’s friends had chosen to share with the world: Just won a bid on eBay, The company’s sending me to Japan for two months, Did you see that grandfather clock on Antiques Roadshow? Kate scanned the messages for something telling. “Here’s something. ‘Call me next time you need a break from your wife.’” She dug her fingernails into her palms. Her eyes darted to the square picture ne
xt to the posting. The photo wasn’t of a person, but of Big Ben. “Who the heck is that?” Mitch’s social network consisted mostly of business colleagues and people he’d met at flea markets.

  Joely stared at her with sad brown eyes. “I know what it says is mean, but at least Big Ben sounds like a guy.”

  Kate could tell Joely was trying to make her feel better. She looked at the posting’s date: the day after the Thomkins’ disastrous visit. The first night Mitch chose to sleep apart.

  Joely’s fingers started their staccato rhythm across the keyboard again. “I’ll log on directly to Mitch’s Facebook page to see Big Ben’s profile. We’ll find out who this guy is.” She keyed in September fifth and all of its variations, but it said it was wrong, too.

  “Why would he change his password?” Acid pooled in her stomach. Something was seriously wrong in her marriage.

  She gently tapped Joely’s shoulder with her knuckles. “Move over.” Kate typed in “cheating”.

  The Internet had all sorts of information on cheating: cheating on your taxes, cheating at poker, how to tell if your spouse is cheating. She clicked on the last one. Needing time alone and working late were two sure-fire signs. Changing passwords and time unaccounted for were also on the list.

  All she had to do now was wait for Mitch to declare, “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.” Her chest squeezed tight. She could almost hear him now.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  JOELY

  Joely sat stiffly in the corner chair of Jake’s hotel room, pretending to read a magazine, while Jake continued teaching Anna the rules of chess. Competition and strategy weren’t of interest to Joely, but she was pleased that Jake and Anna had so quickly found common ground.

  Anna’s hair was stringy from splashing around in the hotel pool for a couple of hours. She had to be getting tired, but she appeared to be quite alert. Where did kids get their energy?

  As the sun sank, Jake ordered room service. Anna wolfed down her overly priced PB & J, then begged Jake to get back to their game. Watching the minute hand edging closer to Anna’s bedtime while seeing the joy on her daughter’s face tore Joely up inside.

  Anna yawned with her mouth wide, revealing her bottom missing baby tooth. A moment later she did it again. By the third yawn, Joely insisted that they needed to go.

  “Aww, Mom. Can’t I stay a little while longer?” Anna asked.

  With a soft groan, Jake stretched his long legs and checked his watch. “I think this game could go on for hours and I’ve got to head back to Michigan in the morning.” He picked up the chess pieces and placed them in a velvet bag.

  Tears shimmered in Anna’s eyes. “Please don’t go away again.”

  Clearly guilt-ridden, he shot Joely a desperate “What do I say?” look.

  She raised her eyebrows. Hell, she wasn’t going to help him. If he was going to make Anna cry, then he deserved to feel like crap about it.

  He knelt in front of Anna, much the way he had when he proposed to Joely all of those years ago. “I don’t live here, AJ. I have to go home. But I’ll be back.”

  Anna’s eyelashes stuck together from her tears. She blinked. “Promise?”

  “Promise.”

  Anna reached her arms around his neck and squeezed. She clung to him so long that when Joely pried her fingers off, she wouldn’t have been surprised to see tiny little handprints outlined against his skin.

  Joely cringed, knowing this was probably the last they’d see of him for a while. Maybe ever. She stared at him, trying to look foreboding. “Remember you said you’d stay involved.”

  He nodded and shrugged, sending her mixed signals. Just like always.

  KATE

  “Mrs. H?” The young female voice on the phone sounded familiar, but Kate couldn’t quite place it. Caller ID simply listed the digits and she didn’t recognize them. Was it one of her clients at the counseling center? That’s where she was headed, but her first appointment wasn’t for thirty minutes. She barely had time to eat a quick breakfast before she needed to go.

  Shoving her feet into a pair of navy pumps, she tripped over a stack of Anna’s drawings. Annoyed, she shook her head. Joely needed to figure out a better place to store them. “This is Kate Hopper.”

  “Mrs. H, it’s me. Lily.”

  She stiffened. Lily was one of her former high school students and one of her biggest heartbreaks. She only called every once in a while—when she hit bottom. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m in the hospital.” Lily moaned as if in pain.

  Kate’s heartbeat sped up. “What happened?” Her hand pressed the phone tight against her ear.

  “You’re the only person I could think to call. . . Owww!” The line went dead.

  Kate hit star sixty-nine, but no one answered. Fearing the worst, she dropped the phone and dashed out the door. Had Lily been in an accident? Kate’s own father had died in a car accident—smashed by a semi-trailer.

  Hoping Lily wasn’t hurt too badly, Kate sped to Foxworth Community, the only hospital in the county. When Lily attended Foxworth High, Kate had done all she could, but as her school counselor, she’d had her limits. No matter how hard she had tried not to take her work home with her, some kids got to her. Lily had been one of those students.

  Her contact with Lily since then had been sporadic, but she had never forgotten about her. Never stopped wishing the girl would realize her own potential, make better choices and pull herself out of poverty. Clearly, it wasn’t easy to do without any family support.

  Kate parked her car and rushed into the ER. She asked at the desk where Lily was. Studying her computer screen, the nurse furrowed her brow and Kate panicked, wondering if this was the right hospital. The woman hit a few more keys and then sent Kate upstairs.

  The elevator doors opened and Kate couldn’t quite bring herself to step out. She stood on the threshold and took it all in. The antiseptic smell, the glossy white floors, babies crying. It didn’t seem possible, but her heart pounded harder.

  Finally, she forced her legs to carry her to the designated room where she found Lily in bed. As usual, her long, red hair was wild and covered the tattoo Kate knew marred the young woman’s neck, the one that said “Hate.” It illustrated Lily’s coping skills—she pushed people away before they had a chance to hurt her. She looked out of place in her aqua hospital gown rather than ripped jeans and a baggy sweatshirt. The mound in her belly definitely was new. Kate had bumped into her at Wal-mart a few months ago and hadn’t realized that she was pregnant.

  Still gripping the doorknob, Kate forced herself to breathe. She didn’t want to be here.

  A monitor displayed a green wavy line. Lily noticed her staring at it. “That’s supposed to tell me when a contraction is coming. But they hit me out of nowhere.”

  Kate made her way closer to the bed, realizing she’d never been with someone when they gave birth. Joely had gone into premature labor and they’d rushed her to the operating room. Her doctor had insisted that Kate, the unnecessary labor coach, remain in the waiting room. Bad memories of that night bombarded her—Joely collapsing on the sidewalk, the ambulance siren, the color draining from her sister’s face. Kate closed her eyes, trying to shut out the thoughts.

  She reached to touch Lily’s arm, but Lily pulled away. As an adolescent and a victim of child abuse, Lily had guarded her personal space more than most people. Apparently some things hadn’t changed. So Kate smiled. “You’re going to have a baby. That’s exciting.”

  “The pain is insane.”

  At one time, Kate had naively contemplated her own birth plan. She liked the idea of a scheduled C-section. She wanted to know when and where she would deliver. She could put it on her calendar, take the day off of work, pack her bag and be ready. The problem was that she hated needles. Therefore, she’d also toyed with the idea of natural childbirth. Ultimately, she knew that she couldn’t say for sure what she’d choose until she felt labor pains of her own. Oh, what she’d give to fe
el a contraction!

  The young girl’s eyes implored her. “Can’t they give me something to make it stop hurting?”

  Such a personal decision. Kate swallowed. “Didn’t you take any prenatal classes where they discussed your options?”

  She shook her red head. “I couldn’t afford to.”

  Kate thought the classes might have been free. Was she making up an excuse? Too late now anyway. “Some women get an epidural which numbs you from the waist down, but others decide it will be over in a few hours and do it naturally.”

  “An epidural is a shot, right? I don’t know. What do you think I should do?”

  Why wasn’t Kate the one lying there ready to give birth? She was ready. She and Mitch were so ready. “Lily, you’re a grown woman. Only you can make that decision.” There was an edge to her voice.

  “Owww!” Lily clutched her rounded belly. Her head jerked to the left and her right knee lifted. She looked like someone jumping jack-knife style into a swimming pool.

  Regret washed over Kate. She shouldn’t envy Lily. A pregnant and alone twenty-year-old girl couldn’t possibly warrant jealousy. And yet Kate did covet her situation a little. She looked at Lily’s twisted face. Instinctively, she stroked the fine hairs on Lily’s forearm to try to comfort her. Lily didn’t seem to notice.

  In the middle of the contraction, Lily shouted into the air. “I want some drugs.”

  Even though Lily wasn’t looking at her, Kate nodded. “I’ll go tell the nurse.” She hurried down the well-lit corridor, averting her eyes from the window displaying the hospital’s newborns. Once she arrived at the counter of the nurse’s station, she listened as a nurse explained that Lily had to wait because the anesthesiologist was busy. There were a lot of babies across the county that had decided to enter the world that day.

  Nagging at Kate as she walked back was the fact that her clients would show up for counseling and she wouldn’t be there. She’d left her calendar at home so she didn’t know whom to call. When she first opened her agency, she’d hired a secretary, but it wasn’t financially feasible to keep someone else on the payroll. She wished desperately that she could call a secretary and have her reschedule all of today’s clients. Instead, she’d just have to apologize profusely later.